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January 1st, 2013

2012 and beyond

Overall, 2012 was an awesome year. There was one great sadness: Margaret and I failed to repair our relationship and are no longer together. I've tried to maximize the good that has come from that, but it's still something I wish had turned out differently. I've tried to learn ways in which I could approach things differently in the future. I've also taken advantage of being able to grow in ways that I couldn't while Margaret and I were involved. It's natural and kind of a big part of what it means to commit to be with someone that you'll make compromises and that those compromises will limit where you go. However, if that commitment doesn't work out, it seems desirable to me to explore beyond those limits.

Zoe continues to be wonderful. I'm happy I have a kid and I'm very happy that she's still an important part in my life. She's grown a lot this year. She's also a lot more communicative (which is amazing given how talkative she was even a year ago). It's wonderful being able to be part of her life.

Work is great. We're growing and I'm a bit nervous because it's a lot of responsibility. However we have great clients and great projects and I'm very pleased with our prospects. I also really enjoy the team we have; Painless Security is well on the way to being the kind of place I hoped it would become when I started it. I greatly appreciate that it's no longer just me and that I can split the work both technical and business.

Spiritually, this year has been wonderful. I've cemented my relationship with my goddess. I continue to grow spiritually. This is another area where I'm nervous about what's ahead, but I'm also excited.

I feel I've reached a point of confidence and strength in who I am that is really helping me on some interpersonal levels. I'm much more comfortable asking for what I want even when it's something that doesn't work out. I'm less afraid of being alone and of a number of other uncertainties.

I'm looking forward to 2013. I'd like to continue to focus on my spiritual work and on building connections with those around me. Neither of these should be a surprise. I'd also like to focus on being more technically articulate and improving my skills at explaining complex technical ideas. I've been startled a number of times recently about how something I tried to express just didn't come out clearly to the people I talked to, even though I thought it was relatively clear when I expressed it. I also think I'd like to find ways to improve my people management skills. I only sort of have any reports, but it seems like I'm going to need better skills in that area as time goes on.

I wish everyone the best in 2013.

September 2019

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