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February 20th, 2018

Tools of Love

From my spiritual blog

I have been quiet lately. My life has been filled with gentle happiness, work, and less gentle wedding planning. How do you write about quiet happiness without sounding like the least contemplative aspects of Facebook? How do I share this part of the journey in a way that others can learn from? I was offering thanks the other day and was reminded of one of my early experiences at Fires of Venus. Someone was talking about how they were there working to do the spiritual work they needed in order to achieve their dream of opening a restaurant. I'll admit that when I thought of going to a multi-day retreat focused on spiritual connection to love, opening a restaurant had not been at the forefront of my mind. And yet, this was their dream, and surely dreams are the stuff of love. As they continued, they talked about finding self love deep enough to have the confidence to believe in dreams.



As I recalled this experience, I offered thanks for all the tools I've found to use as a lover. Every time I approach something with joy and awe, I gain new insight into the beauty of the world around us. In my work within the IETF I saw the beauty of the digital world we're working to create. Standing on sacred land, I can find the joy and love of nature and the moment.



I can share the joy I find and offer it to others. I've been mentoring someone at work. They're at a point where they're appreciating some of the great mysteries of computing like “Reflections on Trusting Trust” or two's compliment arithmetic. I’ve had the pleasure of watching their moments of discovery and also helping them understand the complex history in how we’ve built the digital world we have. Each moment of delight reinforces the idea that we live in a world where we expect to find this beauty and connect with it. Each experience reinforces the idea that we live in a world filled with things to love.



And so, I’ve turned even my experiences as a programmer into tools for teaching love and joy. I’ve been learning another new tool lately. I’ve been putting together the dance mix for my wedding. Between that and a project last year, I’ve learned a lot about music. I will never be a professional DJ or song producer. However, I have always found joy in music and dance, and I absolutely can be good enough to share that with my friends. I can be good enough to let music and rhythm be tools I use to tell stories and share joy. In learning skills and improving my ability with music, I better appreciate the music I hear.



The same is true with writing: both my work here and my fiction. I’m busy enough with other things that I am unlikely to even attempt writing as my livelihood. Even so, I have more tools for sharing the love I find and helping people find the love and joy in their world.



These are all just tools. Words and song won’t suddenly bring us all together any more than physical affection and our bodies. However, words, song, and the joy we find in each other and in the world we build can help us find connection and empathy. We can learn to see the love that is there between us. All these tools can help us be vulnerable and open together. And that—the changes we work within ourselves using these tools—can bring us to a path of love. And so how do I write about happiness? I give thanks for the things it allows me to explore. I find value in growing and trying new things. In my best moments, each seems a lens through which I can grow as a lover as I walk Venus’s path.