Sam Hartman (hartmans) wrote,
Sam Hartman

2008 and 2009

I've been quiet in 2008. It was a year of change, internal focus and adjustment. Interestingly, it did not appear to be as much of a year of reflection as I would expect. I was too busy to reflect much.

The changes have been good. I've settled into my family. Being a parent is an amazing joy, far more than I had expected. Margaret continues to be the most wonderful partner anyone could hope for and our life together brings me great happiness. I left MIT and have established my consulting practice. It feels good to be moving on professionally.

I look forward to the opportunities of 2009. I hope to focus more outside myself than I did in 2008; I also hope to be more actively introspective in my personal growth in 2009.

A lot of my outward energy in 2009 will be spent on meeting people and being more social. I continue to have an important goal of finding someone to share my life with besides Margaret. Our relationship is wonderful, but I'm also lonely because there is a lot of time we cannot be together; I'd like to find someone to share that part of myself with. I continue to believe the right way to approach this is to find and meet people, grow closer to them as friends and see if something more develops. Having new friends is always wonderful, and if there is more to be found, that is excellent as well. However over the past year, I have not had as much energy for socializing and meeting people as I'd like. I'm also not sure that the energy I have spent has been as effectively spent as it could be; I'll have to ponder that later. I am going to explicitly work to find and use the energy to be social this year.

In the past couple of weeks, I've picked up a quest for self introspection and improvement. I've been noticing a particularly bad tendency to burst other people's bubbles. Someone will be describing some hope of theirs, and I'll find myself pointing out why it won't work, or some problem. It feels like at least part of the motivation on my part is to make sure they understand what obstacles they are facing and to encourage them to have a realistic starting point for trying to build a plan. However, I don't manage to be constructive, I make them feel bad and I feel bad myself. I want to work on this in 2009. It's been a long-standing tendency, although I've just recently begun to understand it well enough to really want to work on it.

I also want to blog more. I've been very quiet here, on my my professional blog, and on Zoe's blog. I want to improve that. My LJ is important so people can learn about me and share what's going on in my life and in my head. The professional blog is helpful for establishing credibility and continuing to maintain my reputation. Zoe's blog is important for my parents and others who want to follow her life but also for me as I look back years later. Right now, I'm writing this on the train into Boston. I wonder if it will work to dedicate time on the train to writing a post for one of these three blogs instead of relaxing or working on other work. I'm going to give it a shot and see what happens.

Tags: introspection, relationships

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