"Hi. I have a number of isles we're going to visit: [list]. Let's start at produce."
"As in milk and butter?"
"No, as in fruits and vegetables. I'd like to start getting some plums." [confusion; someone points us at plums] I start sorting through them. "Those are small apples," she says. "Uh, no, they are plums."
I quickly began to scale back my shopping. The quest for salad greens seemed to be on track until we got to the item she was looking for and she said, "Oops, that's green cabbage." Stop&Shop has a wide variety of green cabbage located around the produce section; we were cabbaged at least twice.
We went on many interesting quests. She learned that there are at least four places to buy cheese in their store. Then we ran all around looking for balsamic vinegar. "It's like a salad dressing; it may be near them." "O! [runs] [pause] No, all I see are lemons and nuts." Then we had to fight past the balsamic Vinaigrette but eventually we succeeded.
I did at least get food for tonight and tomorrow and a reasonable supply of fruit. There was nothing wrong with her; she was friendly, but just doesn't do a lot of shopping in that type of store. I got a lot of practice trying to describe things (and failing) because while I don't know where things are in that store, I know roughly what's present there.
And of course on the way home, the taxi driver didn't have change for a $20.